Thursday, 17 March 2016

Addicted to life

                            Life as it is.

After helping my boss get rich all day.
Which I do to my satisfaction not caring the many complaints from that old manager who thinks am better off at his position. With no idea how misallied I feel working with that company.

I go to my usual joint at a restaurant in town.
With a thirsty soul and high hopes that each sip I take drains both mind and soul away from sorrows of the journey of life.

I cannot understand the harm in it knowing all the joy it brings by just changing the views of my current situation when seated on that bar counter for the short period.

I guess it is the reason behind the sweet, comforting names like Amarurah. Not Rest in peace or Go to hell with your troubles.
If they did, it would give me a guilty conscience every time it goes down with a burning sensation in my throat.

I take few shots to interfering with the general judgement of my life happenings.
Addict is the word they use to describe and name anyone who dares to spend some time alone thinking about the past and that what is to come.

Apart from putting food on the table, not much is done draining almost all my earnings to an investment account called school fees which will help me at my old age.
Reminds me to make my annual contributions to a retirement plan after comparing the three of my kids.

When alcohol content in my blood gets to 47% same as the bottle am drinking from.
I drive home to find everyone already asleep.

Breathing heavily with a sign of relief. Spreading myself on the couch only to realize I missed supper. Which makes me miss each one of my family.

The first born 24 years old looks forward to working on facebooks for a job.
By generating too much traffic on his page with likes and comments.

He grew up with much of his mother's emotions to a point he would cry for someone to accept an apology.
If I did that as a child admitting it makes me feel awkward.
I wonder if my dad did it too. I should have my youngest daughter do it one of this days to see my dad's reaction.

At that moment deciding to kiss each one of them a good night kiss like I see on tv programs.
I remember my 16 years old son. A kiss sounds soo childish.
I denied him permission to attend a party so he probably is mad.
With poor performance in school what kind of a dad would I be if i let him.
However, who is to blame, I have no idea what his handwriting looks like.

Makes me wonder if the two guys take after me which reminds me.
I almost went to a confession last week after reading a text message on my son's phone to this lady saved as booty call.

I wonder who would give such a name to a child or what it even means.
The strange thing is, I almost forwarded it to my wife for her to see how romantic I am which reminded me of my young age.

My youngest daughter is a princess.
Beauty just like her Mum.
She is an angel if not alway pretending when being around.
That is someone I could kiss a good night if not for my alcoholic breath.

The oldest member of the family.
My lovely wife. Such a beauty even in her sleep.
I think she thinks am not man enough comparing my self to the man from our neighbourhood. Always dressed smartly driving big cars headed to court.
Probably to answer several cases of corruption and bribery since I know he is not a judge.

Apart from those evil thoughts, No one makes my world vibrant like she does.
Her beauty despite several years of marriage and three kids.
Her smile plus the look in her eyes. If not her,
I do not know how that family would work.
It is true nothing can keep a good woman down.
An amazing Gods creation.

It is funny how they all take life.
Soo easy singing along with sweet melodies and smiles.
That is the beauty they all bring I would say.
Seeing them all happy during breakfast makes me go to my stupid job and work as hard.

Life passes away very quick.
So they all make every second spent count.

Wednesday, 2 March 2016

Away From The Past

                      Running From The Past

Little did I know after many years pass that
My past would come haunting me. 
never realized that the very past I've been fleeing from would catch up which somehow makes me feel like I've been wrong all my life. 

I lost you on the long run.The only one I ever truely love thinking that someday you might be a story from the past but guess I was wrong. 
You still living in my thoughts of every day. 
In my future dreams and memories of what we used to be. 

For so long I've wanted to reconcile with that past for my happiest moments are of what we both had and feels like you still have a role to play along this journey of life.

When I first met you. There was this ignition in me. 
Something that made me have this feeling for the first time. 
That's when I realized that at some point in life we were meant to meet. 
It wasn't by chance or coincidence when it happened.

That feeling when you smiled at me. 
Despite us being strangers. 
Despite the urge to admire. 
I couldn't maintain eye contact with every time our eyes met. 
We both looked at opposite direction.
A chemistry reaction was taking place. Not only in my mind but body and soul. 

The bulbing feeling of butterflies in my stomach. 
The increased heart beat rate.The chilly feeling you gave me when you looked me in the eyes.

All my courage faded away with just the thought of saying Hi.
When I finally did.
There was this feeling of achievement in me, Call it the eureka kind of feeling followed by a massive confusion.

I couldn't think of what to say next. 
When you smiled. 
You got me hypnotized and I couldn't help it but smile back not sure if it was Me you were smiling at.
For days it bothered me and nights I dreamt of that very moment. 
From then I knew you were not just a stranger to be.

After month made me realize running away from my past is all am ever doing, 
Worse it's not something that am good at for I don't know what to do next.

You follow me to my present and my future. 
I can't get you of my mind. 

Guess after all there's no running away from you.
The fear of what if the moment I stop running becomes the moment my life come's to an end still follows me in and out of my bed.
I realized you can never run away from the past.

What is life worth?

                     Life worth a dollar.
There are things that are meant to be of value in our life's despite the evil blindness bestowed upon us by power and money.

With some of us thinking they are rich because money is the only thing they can account for in their whole life's existence.

Life is like a hundred dollar note in the pocket, spending a dime every passing day.
How we spend it totally depends on the choices we make.

If money is all to account for, What worth will our lives be if we have it and lose our life?

Doing anything for money, we lose the basic fundamental meaning of our life.
Cutting our connections with anyone who does not bring monetary value to us.
Money can purchase a mansion which is a good thing, but can never buy a home.

Every passing second is like a nickel spent, which we can't earn back when it's gone.
Every year counts as a dollar with many not lucky to spend it all.
Nothing will save us from the cold chill of the grave when the time comes.
Not even the numerous figures in our bank account.
Death should mean something not necessary our own death.

Let us live before we die.
Real wealth and richness lays within us.
Love and peace among others which money can't buy.
Spend every day to touch a heart, For the only way to live even after death is in the heart and memories of others.

Wednesday, 24 February 2016

Its a Revolution.

                         KENYA IS MY HOME

I love my country to watch it go down to its knees to corruption and tribalism.

Hungry leaders filling their bellies and bank accounts
With as much as taxpayers' money 
With many earning just a little to make a living.
Striving every day to work for a donut salary 

Spending much than they make due to high costs of living and meager wages.

High transport charges on poorly constructed roads.

Which was paid heavily for to have built by best contractors.
With quality products and qualified engineers.
Not from our best engineering university and colleges.
But hired manpower from foreign countries 
Whom we owe enormous amounts of debts.
Loans and bonds they offered us for developments.

Where are our educated and qualified engineers?
Many going to look for greener pastures.
Seeking for job opportunities in foreign countries
To develop foreign cities.

Where are our many learned doctors?
With our hospital beds full of patients.

With our relative and friends working outside countries 
Many suffering in poor treatment and working conditions.
With no jobs available in our country.

Who is to blame!
Basing our leadership on dirty politics and tribalism.
What better do we expect!

I will not run to live comfortably in a foreign land.
Kenya is my motherland. 
I will stay and fight.

Fight to make this nation that country.
My children will grow up in and proudly call home.
Free from corruption and tribalism.
Fight for PEACE LOVE and UNITY.

Kenya is my Home. 

Monday, 15 February 2016

Glass castle

                   A bottle and a Friend.

Seated at the bar counter draining my sorrows out.
A bottle of whiskey and a half empty glass in my hand.
Listening to James Bay let it go as it plays.

One bottle turns to two and the wired taste turns sweet.
Finally, the effects kick in.

Do you love her?
A Voice comes roaring from behind me.

An old friend pulls a bar stool and gets comfortable besides me.

After a moment of silence.

"you haven't answered me'' looking back at me.

''Naa Ah Am just thinking about business''
A picture of her on the table betraying my words.

''I don't know man, but she's all I think of'''. I give in to continue with the conversation.

'' how can you not know if she's all you think of''
He ask curiously.

''Depends on what I think about her.'' I reply.

If she came and stood right in front of you, what would be your reaction?

Hearing those words, I turn and look around to confirm her absence.

In a state of confusion.
I order another bottle probably to buy time and think about what he just asked.

"why don't you join in, here have a drink," passing him a glass and the bottle to pour himself some whiskey.

''So what about her are you thinking of?
You know she's not the only lady out there.''
He comments looking at me.

'' Yeah sure'' holding my head down with both my hands.

Friday, 12 February 2016

My everyday Valentine.

                       Be my valentine

Valentine is here.
People take this special day .

To hold that special someone they love.
With a rose flower on their hand.
Many dancing to the sweet beats.
Of an old classic love song.

"When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothing' else
He'd trade the world
For the good thing he's found

If she is bad, he can't see it
She can do no wrong
And turn his back on his best friend
If he puts her down

When a man loves a woman
Spend his very last dime
And trying to hold on to what he needs

He'd give up all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way, it ought to be''.

With a bright smile on her face.
Shinning like the early morning rays.
Filling each corner of his beating heart.

Telling her how much he loves her.
For she means the world to him.
A promise to always be by her side.

Each sunrise and passing day.
Wake up smiling besides her.
Love her till his last breath.

To stand by her not only in happiness.
But also in her darkest days.
That he would rather loss the world and keep her.

You are my valentine each passing day.
365 days in a year with every chance i get.
To love you in a million different ways.

Will you be my valentine this special day!!!

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

Being Judge Mental.

                               A lovely story.
Having no much to write about, with much peace in mind I tend to get much comfortable forgetting I have articles to write.

Was going through some of my old stuff and found a story I once shared with a friend and thought of re-sharing. 

It's about A lovely little girl who was holding an apple in each hand.
Her mum came in and softly asked her little daughter with a smile: could you give your mum one of your two apples?

The girl looked up at her mum for some seconds, and then she suddenly took a quick bite of one apple, and quickly on the other one.

The mum felt the smile on her face freeze. She tried hard not to reveal her disappointment to the behaviors of her lovely daughter.

Then the little girl handed one of her bitten apples to her mum, and said: mummy, here you are. 

This is the sweeter one.

No matter how experienced and knowledgeable we might be. 
I feel it's always wise to delay judgment.
Give others a chance to explain themselves. 

At times, we tend to jump quickly into conclusions not being able to realize we are missing the real deal behind the whole experience. 
We tend to be blinded by our judgment and probably those involved have no way of communicating it to us.

At times, I try to imagine how hard it would have been on the mum if her daughter didn't explain why she took a bite on each of the two apples.